Into the Crimson Vortex

He likes her. She likes him.

And they decided they are ready for the big ‘M’ – Getting married.

This happens to my dear’s bro n his wife-to-be. Hehe Congratz!

Simple right? hmm… maybe not so if you are from Chinese family.

A chinese wedding is not just between the couple… its between the two families. Formal meetings..  Auspicious  date.. Proposal..   etc…

Well… lets leave that to the old people.. So as a groom to be… surely you will be “thrilled” to know whats going on next…what to prepare and buy?

Ok.. here goes the list of things that (may) needs to buy:

Groom side will need to get grand gift ready. Which we call Guo Da Li (过大礼). Parents will pick a good date and timing to bring the gifts over. So what gifts to bring over? Usually the bride mom will tell you what it is expected of the groom family to bring over. The bride mom will call the shots.

What items to bring over also depends on the dialect groups the bride family belongs.

The following is the full list of  item that a chinese family may want (good luck! you are at the mercy of your future in laws):

1. Lucky money. The red packet ping-jing money from groom family to bride family. How much to give? Well this have to be usually decided by the groom family. But sometimes the groom parents is being nice will ask the bride family how much they want? usually no. 9 is a good number in this case. As no.9 in chinese sound similar to the word forever in chinese.

2. 4 pieces of golds.  Or call it 4 dian Jing. The groom mom will have to buy a set of 4 types of gold to the bride. Usually the groom mom will bring the bride to go and choose. This gold is going to be wear on wedding day. Its just to show everyone that the guy side has married  a good lady with good value. (note. there are cases where the bride family only ask for a pair of well design bangles instead. A dragon and phoenix bangles. Usually the price of those bangles is close to the price of 4 dian jing.)

3. Wedding cakes

4. Dried seafood (4 kinds of seafood), mushroom, Fay Chai (a kind of hair-like seaweed).

5. Poultries or cans of pig trotters.

6. Fish

7. Coconut

8. Wine or Liqour

9. 4 sweets or 4 dried food. Like longan, dates, chestnuts, peanuts, lotus seeds, red beans, sesame or etc. red string will be included for good luck

10. Oranges

11. One pair of chopstick. Just to say ‘fast-son’ – meaning quickly have kids :p

12. 2 bowls tied with red strings

13. Toilet kettle

14. Bed spread and pillows and quilt embroidered with dragon-phoenix design

15. Scissors and ruler

16. tea sets including tea pot, tea cups and tea tray

17. A pair of dragon and phoenix candles. Its meant for the bride to be blessed.

Whew i can only find out this much. A lot eh! Remember to ask how many they need or want. :p  Dont worry. Not all they want unless u have got a very traditional in-laws. The usual and important items are 1,2,3,5,8,9,10,17.

When groom parents give all these to the bride family, it is a MUST for the bride family to return some of the items given to them and other things to be exchanged.

Things to be returned to groom:

1. Some Lucky money with the ang bao intact. This VERY important if they want the groom to be successful and lucky.

2. Some Wedding cakes

3. Some Dried seafood (4 kinds of seafood), mushroom, Fay Chai (a kind of hair-like seaweed).

4. Some or half of the Poultries or cans of pig trotters.

5. Some Fish

6. Some Coconut

7. Some 4 sweets or 4 dried food. Like longan, dates, chestnuts, peanuts, lotus seeds, red beans, sesame or etc. red string will be included for good luck

8. Some or half the of the Oranges

Things to be exchange with the groom:

1. Wine or Liqour to be exchanged with the same number of orange juices. usually is 2 exchange 2

2. Bride may be asked to buy pants, wallet and/or belts for the groom.

3. A new pair of dragon and phoenix candles it to be exchanged. Its meant FOR THE GROOM to be blessed and his wedding path is bright.

Ok… next.. we have move on to Bridal Bed Setting or call it An Chuang 安床

The groom’s family will invite a respected female relative or friend to “set the bridal bed” at the new home.  And a young boy (3-6yrs old) will be invited to jump on the bridal bed before the wedding to bring fertility to the newlyweds. The red lamp beside the bed will be lighted up for few hours.

The wedding day!

So in the morning, after the bride done her dressing and make up, she will have her hair combed by a blessed/fu-qi woman who is living parents, spouse and children. Every comb by the blessed woman, she will need to say good words to the bride. Then, the bride parents will wear the head band on their daughter’s head to bless her.

The groom will set out to bride house. He got to prepare more red packets to give to the bridesmaid or friends who they will block the door. This where comes the door games :p

After the game, the groom will finally get the bride.

As the bride get ready to go out and go to the car, a bridesmaid will hold a red umbrella over her head, meaning “raise the bark, spread the leaves.” Other relatives will scatter rice, red bean and green bean on her. The red umbrella protects the bride from evil spirit, and the rice and beans are to attract the attention of the gold chicken.

They are now ready to go to the groom side for tea ceremony. After groom side, then it will be the bride side :p  then photo-taking… rest.. ready for dinner banquet.. get drunk and get rocking at night!

Just a side tips from me. Normally dinner is the part where the newlyweds will earn their money from. So remember to invite more of those people whom you think will give you $100 red packet at least to cover the table cost. Of course dont forget your friend please.

Well hee thats just me.. a rat is always more concern with its dollar and cents but still trying to be perfect and all  :p Hehe i am so bad but this is how usually done. Sorry for my rudeness.

So a wedding… the costly part will be photoshoot, the dress and suit, the ping jing, 4 dian jin and other stuffs. I wonder can all be under 20k. If a budget wedding will be under 10k? haha ok i better stop here. I think will get slap soon o haha.

Well leave it up to you couples out there Wedding is once a life time thing.. its a BIG decision! Not an easy one. Full commitment needed.  Make it dreamy.. make it fairy tales like or as grand as you like.. but do remember to discuss and understand and know how your partner would feel o. Its the time that the groom will “bleed”. And don’t forget, maybe soon, after the grand wedding, you may have one more mouth, or if you are lucky you will have 2 more mouth, to feed.  I am so money minded  :p

Tags: bridal, bride, bridesmaid, chinese, groom, guo da li, marriage, married